Esotropiart

But Moses said to the LORD, "Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue." Then the LORD said to him, "Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak." But he said, "Oh, my Lord, please send someone else." Then the anger of the LORD was kindled against Moses and he said, "Is there not Aaron, your brother, the Levite? I know that he can speak well. Behold, he is coming out to meet you, and when he sees you, he will be glad in his heart. You shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth, and I will be with your mouth and with his mouth and will teach you both what to do. He shall speak for you to the people, and he shall be your mouth, and you shall be as God to him. And take in your hand this staff, with which you shall do the signs."

Exodus 3:10-17 ESV

After listening to Genesis several times at work I've now moved on to Exodus. Exodus chapter 3 really struck me this time through. I am convicted by God's words to Moses. I have read this passage many times before. This was not the first time I noticed the similarity between Moses and me. Today I felt a stronger connection and was convicted of lacking faith.

It seems Moses and I suffer from the same problem. Our gift is not in the verbal arts. Oration and speech don't come easy to me. Preaching, teaching, message delivery, and all types of oral communication are among my weaknesses and fears.

God has been speaking a message directly into me. The very message of the Word of God has been transforming me. By the breath of a whisper from the Holy Spirit of God I am created new from within. He created light out of the void in me. Rather, He IS the Light within me! He has made His dwelling in me and has been cleaning house (though my flesh resists painfully). Every corner is unfolded so no painful crease can hide a dark secret or lie.

I feel the amazing, miraculous work of the Holy Spirit in me is something to be shared. Since this calling out of darkness began some months ago, I have been compelled to share openly of my experiences. The Bible has become alive to me in new ways, exploding off the page! A new passion for service to the Kingdom of God has sprung up from within me. All of this and more has been happening to me and my heart. Sometimes it seems too much, that I will burst.

Oh Lord, may I not resist Your Spirit. I am certainly least qualified among Your servants to lead, to teach and to shepherd others. I'm even afraid of such responsibility. What if I fall? I am full of sin and pride. I have a hard time seeing past the nebulous cloud of self. My ears are closed to You even though You speak with incredible clarity. I hear You more than ever. At the same time, I feel my ears are bolted shut. The wall of flesh is my vice. There is more You have to say, and I fear the most important parts are lost in translation.

Continue to transform me by Your Light and Life. Cover me with Your blood. Protect me from the evil that calls my name and woos me by night. The sneaky dark shadows vie for my attention. Your power is stronger. You can crush them all. Destroy my enemies. Blind them to confuse their efforts. My Lord is my Rock and Shelter. In Him will I trust. All else is dust and shadow. I love the One who saves me.

May Your love and mercy be found in me. I want to rest my life in Your hands. Lord, use even my weakness. Because You are strong, it can be evident that Your hand has done it. I take no credit and wish to parry all glory with perfect angular deflection straight back to You! All praise be to You and the Name that is above every other!

Be the Lord of my mouth. I cannot speak a single word without stumbling. My tongue is either afire with serpent-like poison, or I become one of numb and dumb mumblings.

You are the One who enabled the tongue of Moses. You indeed were the very mouth of Moses. Lord, in so much as You are willing to use the frailty of my being, be my tongue. I don't want the title of "prophet" to exalt me before my brothers. I simply want to become less so You are more. Use me mightily for Your kingdom. Shine! In Jesus name, amen.

For this commandment that I command you today is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. It is not in heaven, that you should say, "Who will ascend to heaven for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?" Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, "Who will go over the sea for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?" But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.

Deuteronomy 30:11-14 ESV