Esotropiart

As I was writing that last short poem, I was reminded of something I wrote some years back. There's a short story that goes with it. Back when I was dating my wife, most of our contact was done through the internet or over the phone since we were thousands of miles apart. I don't remember the exact moment or conditions that made me write this poem, but I believe it was after a fight of some sort. I think I was worried that I would not hear from her again, realizing that at any moment she could simply stop contacting me.

I wrote I Am No More sort of as a somewhat extreme, half fictitious response to what I was feeling. I think it was half based in dream or vision and half in reality. Around the same time I came across poetry.com, a scam web site that encourages people to enter their poetry into contests. I've written better poems, but decided to enter I Am No More just for fun. At the time I didn't know poetry.com is a total scam and was pleasantly surprised to find out my poem "had been selected" to be published and was a "semi-finalist". With that too-good-to-be-true news I figured it was probably a scam but was entertained nonetheless.

The poetry.com scam is as follows: all submitted poems are given the same treatment, regardless to their literary quality. They are all "semi-finalists". Once on their mailing list, poets receive an endless barrage of junk mail offering different ways to publish their "award-winning" poem. You can order a book with the poem printed inside, you can go to an award ceremony to claim a prize, you can get a framed print, posters, magnets, you name it. Of course none of this is free (not even close), nor does any poem receive more attention than another. It's just a money making scheme.

Even after realizing the whole thing was a scam, I opted to order the book which would have my poem published among the others. I figured it would be kind of fun to have a book with one of my poems in it, even if it wasn't chosen or special or anything. So I ordered the book and threw away all the other humorous scam mail (which I received for years afterward!). I did indeed receive the book, and my poem was actually printed in the book along with hundreds of other poems. So, while poetry.com is a total deception, and the books will never make it to an actual store, I was satisfied to have a nice book of poetry - even if most of the poems sucked extremely bad.

So the story is that I gave the poetry book to D... some 6+ years ago. I didn't tell her about the poem in the book and waited patiently to see if she would ever read the book enough to discover the poem. Apparently she never read it, as she never mentioned anything about it. I think she has since got rid of the book, as I've not seen it around. She probably read some of the horribly atrocious poems found within and simply threw the book in the garbage. Well, now that all things have come to an end, I figured it wouldn't hurt to reveal my 6 year secret and share my funny little story along with the "published, award-winning" poem. In reality, more people will probably read my poem as the result of posting on my poorly visited, obscure blog than the number of people who ordered the same book with my poem in it! :)

By the way, no one enter this contest unless you wish to be made a fool of (or want a silly false esteem building book like I did). Your poetry will not receive any special attention - basically, the more you pay, the more "attention" you receive. This scheme makes a LOT of money for the owners! Just do a web search for "poetry.com scam" to find out all about it. It may be one of the most well known scams in existence. Well, maybe the international star registry is a bigger scam (sorry for those who value such things, but you don't own a star all to yourself - even if space exploration becomes a reality, don't think some little green men up there will agree to your name and claim to their sun! - not that I believe in aliens... but that's another matter).

P.S. Sorry for the sadness in this poem. It was real emotion when I wrote it, and some of the same emotions are reflected in the reality I face today. Our literature teachers always told us the best poetry is written from personal experience. I tend to agree. Most of my own poetry has been written in times of very potent, raw human emotion.