Esotropiart

I am abandoned, alone. Oh Lord, help me! I cannot live this way. I cannot make it on my own. I need my companion, my love. Why am I not loved? Am I the worst of all Your creation? Lord, strengthen me in my loneliness. Take my fear and doubts away. Help me to trust in Your sovereignty over this situation. Though it seems enemies are all around, Lord You can defend me on every side. I lay down my arms, for Your defense is perfect, Your technique is faster than light and a thousand times as beautiful as masterful T'ai Chi. Though my foes plot against me and seek to steal my joy, Lord You are my Joy, my Hope, my Strength. No one can take You away from me, for it is not by my strength that You and I are bound. We are bound by the blood of Your Son, Jesus. I am Yours, and I am proud and humbled to call You my God. It is Your right hand that sustains me, and no one can make You flinch or cause Your grasp to slip.

Help me to trust in You and to drop all things so that I can rest in Your arms. Fight my battles for me. Oppose those who oppose the beauty and glory of what you have made. Yet relent in your mercy, for they also need You. Show all people Your love and curse no one for my sake. Instead, forgive them, for I bid no one sorrow in revenge. My sorrow is enough for ten men, and I would bear more if You require it of me. Reveal Your sovereignty as God to all, as You have shown me. I pray, even beg that You continue to reveal the truth of Your Word in me. May Your Spirit calm my heart, and may Your presence be real enough to satisfy my severe loneliness! Oh, Father, rescue me! Hosanna, Savior! Abba, hug me, for my humanity and the dust that You created needs love!

Forgive me where I have failed to uphold the holiness of Your name, and where I have set idols before me instead of a relentless pursuit of You. Set Your path before me and light the way so I will not miss a step. Discipline me as a son, so I will know You are my Father. Create in me a clean heart, one that is starving for You every moment. Don't let me lose site of the prize. You are my prize. To serve You in Your house is all I long for. To be close to Your heart is what I need. Cast the remaining darkness from me, so I can approach You.

I wish I knew which name to use to address You, God. There are so many... but for example, You know my name. What is Yours? I've longed to call You more than "Father", "Lord", "God", "Master"... yet perhaps my pronunciation of Hebrew or whatever name You tell me would make me worthy of death. I won't accept an answer that doesn't come from You. If I don't receive such an answer, I will still worship You the best I am able. I have no right to call You by such a personal name, and I should be satisfied to call You by Your titles. I want to address no one else but You in my prayers. There are no other gods before You. I worship the God of Abraham, the God of Moses, the Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ. It is in Jesus' name that I pray, for by His blood I can address You.