Esotropiart

From our estimation, Grandpa had an amazingly good day today. He was unconscious for the bigger part of his former stay at the hospital. Even in the new care facility, his condition has not greatly improved. Today was special and different.

I am SO glad I went with Mom and Grandma to say good night to Grandpa this evening. It's impossible to describe how good it was to see him today. For the entire half hour that we were with Grandpa, he was fully conscious. He was moving his arms. He was talking extremely clearly. He was answering questions and having conversations with very little of anything that might be conceived as off-the-wall comments that didn't relate to what was being said. He was able to grip a cup of water on his own and sip it down slowly. He ate a significant portion of all his meals today. This morning he actually tried to get out of bed on his own and ended up falling on his knees. Thankfully he was not seriously injured, and caring staff was in the room promptly after the incident. In short, Grandpa was fully with us today, though in a continued weak physical state.

I wish I would have had the foresight to bring something to record Grandpa's words today. He was very alert and fairly contemplative. When I realized the opportunity, I wrote some things down on a used Post-It note in my wallet.

Among many other things, Grandpa said, "The last two nights have been bummers. But we'll make it. If we don't, we'll go home." (going home, meaning heaven, where he is a citizen and son) These were great things to hear from Grandpa. I've not seen him in this good of spirit for perhaps a year or so. His inability to hear, see, fend for himself and interact has been of incredible discouragement to him. Imagine sitting around in a chair every single day for a year, not able to hear or see what's going on. The highlight of your day is the meals prepared for you, as you are wheeled out in a chair to the table. Someone has to bathe you and move you about. Misery. I have been mourning for him for many months. Yet today I saw some smiles, and Grandpa showed some signs of being encouraged. Thank you for your prayers, people. See their effect!?

It was by divine providence that I was there this evening because there was some interaction destined for me. Grandpa seemed very pleased that I was present. As soon as he was aware of my presence, he began speaking to me. A care person was moving him around on a unique recliner wheelchair. Grandpa was speaking quietly, we were in motion, and I didn't catch everything he said.

One quote that came through loud and clear was this: "You have been a source of encouragement to your ole Grandpa." Holy smokes, music to my ears. What in the world anyway? I have hardly interacted with Grandpa in a significant way for several months (other than when I asked for his blessing). Sure, I've been around, and he's been on my heart until weeping... but "an encouragement"? Wow... how?

I assured Grandpa that he was a great encouragement to me as well. He said something like, "It's good for us to uplift each other". It was as if for a moment, he was fully there again. I can't say how glad I am to have been there! It was one of those "divine appointments" as Pastor Jack would say.

I don't know how to explain it, but apparently I'm not the only one who senses I have some sort of special connection with Grandpa. Normally I wouldn't express something like this publicly. I don't say it to brag or impress. I don't even know what it is or if it's even possible. Without being prompted or asked, Grandma, Dad and Mom each told me today that they have sensed a mysterious spiritual connection between Grandpa and me. I write this even now with tears... for such things are too lofty for me to understand, and I feel unworthy of such a possibility. I admit I have wanted this my entire life, as long as I have observed Grandpa! Is it possible God has heard this, my unexpressed heart's desire? I'm crushed and broken to even consider the notion.

In my absolute wretchedness, when I cannot even do one good deed as the fruit of my free will, I am one worthy of eternal punishment. Yet my God sees fit to bless me again. Mercy undeserved. I'm the least among all I know, and yet sometimes I act as if I'm the greatest. Again, who am I? Why should I get to witness such great things as these?

If the Lord should desire a return on investment, shouldn't He choose a suitable instrument? I feel as a pot spun to throw garbage into... when on other shelves sit noble and beautiful vessels. Yet my Master is good... let it be as He wills - whatever that is.

If only I could submit to God and not hold back! If only I could sin no more and be rid of this stupid flesh, fear and doubt! Sometimes I feel as though my movements and actions are destining me to being thrown away and broken - unsuitable for any use.

Grandpa, if I can somehow transfer to you by a mysterious spiritual connection, take the AMAZING encouragement I have been given in the last 5 months. Take a portion of it for yourself, but leave some for me :) If the God of all comfort has bestowed a bountiful supply on me - and my cup overflows - take your share of the spoils. You deserve it, for you have unknowingly invested greatly in me by your priestly example.

Grandpa, you have run the race and finished well. You have overcome. We don't know when your time will be up, but we know your witness for Godness sake. No one can condemn this man of God. His robe will be whiter than white, his bestowed crown of great splendor, and his position significant in glory. For he was entrusted with some, and he has made much of it.

Among other things, Grandpa, you will...

• be granted to eat from the tree of life
• receive the crown of life
• not be hurt by the second death
• be given some of the hidden manna
• receive a white stone with a new name written on it that no one except you will know.
• be given authority over the nations over which you will rule, your authority from Christ Himself
• receive the morning star
• be clothed in white garments
• walk with Him in white
• have your name written in the book of life, never to be blotted out
• have your name confessed by Christ before God and the angels
• be a pillar in the temple of God, never to go out
• have the name of God, the name of the city of God, and the new name of Jesus written on you
• sit with Jesus Christ on His throne
• declare "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!" and "Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!"
• serve God day and night in his temple
• be sheltered in God's presence
• hunger and thirst no more
• avoid the strikes of sun and scorching heat
• be shepherded to springs of living water
• have your tears wiped away by God Himself
• be invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb
• no longer experience mourning, crying or pain
• be God's son, and He will be Your God
• freely enter the New Jerusalem
• worship God
• see God's face
• have God as your light source
• reign forever and ever

...your promises taken from the Book of Revelation