Esotropiart

I'm learning many valuable lessons, most relating directly to light and darkness. The Spirit of God is teaching me directly by placing verses and concepts into my heart. He is also confirming these things through words from other believers, and of course as I'm reading in the Word. While it may be a hodgepodge presentation of content with no specific premise or linked flow of thought throughout, I'm going to share some of what I'm learning. Maybe later I'll go back and explain what it all means to me. For now, I'm just going to do some basic cut & paste.

First, here's what I wrote last Thursday after talking with elder Dave at church and prior to calling a spur-of-the-moment meeting with some other guys at church. This was written after a lot of thinking on the subject since the whole life chaos happened. Interestingly enough, almost the second after all the unfortunate events occurred, God showed me much truth in this area of light..

The heavenly light is coming. He is asking to shine in all my darkness. I think I am wishing to undergo this transformation. It will be the most fierce battle of my life thus far, and I will be absolutely humbled beyond description, even utterly humiliated. Pray for me, that I submit to the holy power from on high, as I desire to be His bond servant, without barrier to serving Him.

I want to carry the cross set before me, for I know it will be a lighter burden than I have been choosing to carry. I have been keeping this area of my life in secret, in darkness too long. I am not willing to live that way any longer. I am sad and ashamed beyond description. There are no words for my sorrow day by day.

I know that when I allow His light to saturate the darkest regions of my inner container, it is going to hurt like heck! I may not even survive such a thing. The truth of my darkness may even guarantee me a life of solitary loneliness... something I shiver in fear at the thought of. Nevertheless, I'd rather die alone in shivering cold than allow an evil spirit the pleasure of keeping me bound to fear, shame and guilt. I want to be free, free to live and free to serve. Free to love. Free to die, knowing that nothing can separate me from the love of Christ. Free to obey, to cast aside all that I've been holding on to with the sweet knowledge that I have done what He has asked me to do in the quiet of my shame.

When it is all revealed, when it is exposed, just try, fool! Just try, enemy, to bring me to shame! What will be left to condemn, when all is brought into the Light? God is light, in Him there is no darkness at all! When the light is come in me, you will have no power, nothing to claim me with! Jesus Christ is above all, in all and through all, and to His name be glory forever, Amen!

"For He has called you out of darkness, out of darkness, out of darkness Into His marvelous light, into His marvelous light!"

Since I wrote that, that song has been on my mind quite a bit, so here's the text of that (the way we sang it way back when):

For we are a chosen generation,
a royal priesthood,
a holy nation
a peculiar people
who have shown forth the praises of Him
who has called you out of darkness, out of darkness, out of darkness
into His marvelous light, into His marvelous light.

And I will sing Hallelujah,
Praise to the King
And I will sing Hallelujah
and show forth the praises of Him
who has called you out of darkness, out of darkness, out of darkness
into His marvelous light, into His marvelous light

Some verses I've been thinking about that relate:

Matthew 6:22,23 - The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

John 3:19-21 - This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.

Ephesians 5:8-14 - For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

Ephesians 6:12 - For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

James 5:16 - Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

I Peter 2:9 - But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.

I John 1:5-7 - This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

I John 2:8-11 - Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining. Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.

I'm not big into formulas or equations or the latest Christian trends. In fact, these things bother me to no end, and I tire of hearing of them. Unless God tells me to, I'm not planning to write a book on this subject or try to commercialize it into a neat package. Nevertheless, I believe I have stumbled (He has made it clear to me through His truth, not my own wisdom) upon something very profound and important and want to share it with anyone who it would benefit. My "discovery" or "revelation" is that one of the "secrets" (ain't no secret) of being victorious over something dark in life (a habit, sin, struggle, depression, etc.) is to simply make it a secret no more. I know this is proving crucial to me through this new experience. The enemy likes us to live in shame, to have those dark, secret areas in our hearts or minds that we share with no one. I am choosing to allow God to expose these parts of me, even though it hurts and will likely affect how people I value think of me. I no longer care. Even if it kills me, I will not live that way any longer. Perhaps I will share the story of my confession and repentance here some day soon... don't know. But for now, I wanted to share this aspect - that He has called you out of darkness, and in Him there is no darkness at all... wake up, O sleeper!